Miracles

Yesterday, my BFF Amy went with me to my follow-up appointment from my ultrasound last week. It had been a tough week, but one that grew me in my faith in God. A week that had taught me that there are some things in life I can’t control. One that taught me that no matter what, His plan is perfect!

I had finally come to a point where God granted me a total peace about this pregnancy. Not necessarily a peace that it will be perfect, or without heartache, but a peace that His plan is ALWAYS perfect!

I have to tell you that Amy is the one friend who we have been through EVERYTHING together! Joys, heartaches, losses, you name it, we’ve done it. I was so glad that she offered to go with me. I was a bit nervous when we walked in, because I was just ready to know what was going on.

When Amy (the ultrasound lady) did her thing, she found a PERFECT healthy baby with a strong heartbeat of 182 (a girl, possibly?) There was no clot to be found ANYWHERE! The baby measured 7 weeks 6 days, and looked exactly like it was supposed to. Now, I should be further along than that, but because my cycles are so irregular, this is PERFECTLY normal. I have to tell you that we witnessed one of God’s most precious MIRACLES yesterday. This was the power of prayer!

I am so thankful that God showed up in a mighty way, and I give Him all of the glory!

Thank you for your words of encouragement and your prayers. We definitely felt them this week!

Threatened

The word “threatened” is mostly associated with the feeling of fear. If someone threatens you, it is typically out of anger. If you feel threatened by someone or something, it brings anxiety. I cannot think of any positive way in which the word “threatened could be used.

This was a term I heard on Monday. I have heard the word used many times in my 31 years, but never before has it bothered me in the way it did Monday.

I went in for a second ultrasound due to some complications I have been having. It took the tech a while to find the baby, but she finally did. While it did have a heartbeat, it hasn’t grown like it should in the past two weeks. She also found a blood clot in my uterus. All of these findings came to one diagnosis…”threatened miscarriage.”

I was heartbroken. Those are not the words you ever want to hear. A mother never wants to hear that her child is “threatened” in any way; whether they are here on earth, or waiting in the womb. Once I made it to the car, I called Rob and fell apart. My worldly, human self was taking over. I was hopeless. I knew it was over. I cried all day.

Once I took the time to really pray about it, I simply asked God to help me accept what His will would be. I was overcome by a peace as He reminded me that He is never threatened. His plan is greater than any we could ever dream of. In His eyes, even this baby isn’t threatened. He knows the plans for this child, not me. Not a doctor. Not a friend. The only way His plans become threatened, is if we choose not to trust in Him and give Him full control. His plan may be that this baby doesn’t make it, but it won’t be a mistake. His plan may be that this baby does make it, and will be a testimony of His power. Only He knows that.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

His plan is not to harm me, but to grow me and give me hope. I have to be okay with whatever that looks like.

As I pray daily for this child, I now pray that God will give me the strength to live out my faith in a difficult time. Not just to say that I trust Him, but to show others I trust Him. I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt, or that it was easy. But I know that my relationship with Jesus is stronger than any doubt Satan can tempt me with.

My prayer is that I live my life to reflect the love of my Savior. To show that He has control of my life. To share with others all He has done in my life. For Him to say to me “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:23.

4 to 5

Rob and I have long debated the size of our family. He originally wanted 4 to 5 kids, that was until SaraGrace became so very independent, which changed his mind to two. For the longest time, I was ok with that. But then I got the baby fever, and could just see me with at least one more baby. But obviously, we do not really NEED any more children. Our two are a handful, and let’s be honest, it takes a village!!!

It also takes a money tree, and ours has withered and died. My hours have been cut, SG started school (an added monthly expense), we now drive separate because of my hours and afterschool (so more gas). Nothing has really pointed in the direction that we are ready for another child in the next 4 to 5 years. Nothing, except for God’s plan!

We are excited to announce that the Vaughn family will grow from 4 to 5 in May, 2011! Although we were surprised ( a great surprise!), He is not. He knew this child before it was formed in the womb. (Jeremiah 1:5)

I will have to be honest. I have been extremely worried. I suffered an ectopic pregnancy before SaraGrace, and for some reason could not shake the fact that something is going to happen this time. I have cried, lost sleep, and prayed and prayed and prayed, like 4 to 5 times an hour. Finally, I stopped worrying long enough to listen to what God had to say.

“SaraBeth, if you’re not trusting me, you’re trusting someone or something. Are you really going to trust Satan over me?”

That hit me like a ton of bricks. Now we don’t know what His plan is for this baby, but He does. He knows how this story ends. There is a song that plays on the JOYFM at least 4 to 5 times a day. I heard it for the first time as I left the lab from getting my preliminary blood work done.

NO MATTER WHAT

“I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to,
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you…
No matter what, I’m gonna love You,
no matter what I’m gonna need You,
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,
if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what. “

I decided then that this would be my song to get me through those days when Satan is trying to fill my heart with lies. I know that God is in control, and I trust Him completely with this child, as I have done with the others.

We were able to get an ultrasound Thursday, and I am happy to report that everything looked great, including a tiny heartbeat! God is so good!