Fear Not

The past couple of months, I have found myself in the midst of an internal struggle.  My faith has been super weak; I feel like I am an eternity away from Jesus.  My prayer life has been next to nothing.  When I try to pray, I feel as if there is something between my Father and me.  I feel like I have done nothing He has asked of me, because I just don’t have it in me.

I have tried extremely hard to pray and ask the Lord to reveal the problem.  I don’t like feeling this way.  I think I finally have my answer.

FEAR-

I really started feeling distant around the same time that we found out we were pregnant.  I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to be praying about, but I have just succumbed to FEAR.  I am scared that I will get attached to this baby, only to have my heart ripped out again.  I KNOW that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us (Eph. 3:20).  But the possibility of hurting again is so real, and Satan has used it to overcome all that God wants to do with me at this time in my life.

And then there is the book.  I only have 4 chapters left to finish, yet I haven’t even WANTED to work on them.  I haven’t picked it up in months.  I couldn’t figure out why I was at a loss for words for so long, until this fear was revealed to me.  One of those chapters is Rob’s side of the story.  Another one is how our children have dealt with the loss of their sister.  As I prayed about it, and spoke to a friend about it, I realized that both of those are extremely delicate subjects to write. 

It is no secret that our marriage nearly failed after we lost Faith.  We are in a really good place right now.  I am scared to death to rip that scab off and relive those moments.  And our children- they are finally at a place they can talk about their sister and smile.  One of the hardest things about losing Faith, was seeing my children hurt so badly.  There was nothing I could say or do to make it better.  I felt so helpless.

This morning, as I was scrolling through Facebook, one of my friends posted this verse-

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7

All of this fear is not of God, but of Satan.  I am ashamed to admit that I have fallen victim to his lies, and have allowed him to hinder my relationship with Jesus.  But he will win no longer.  From this day forward, I am choosing to trust the same God that brought us through the toughest time in our lives.  I am trusting the same God that He has everything in His hands. 

Who are you listening to?  Is it the loving voice of the Heavenly Father, or the lies of the devil?

Be encouraged, my friends.  He loves us.  Oh how He loves us!

Dancin’ Cade

Last weekend, we were introduced to Dance Central and the Kinect.  Good times were had by all.  Even Rob and I had a little dance-off and the big ole’ pregnant girl whooped up on her groom. 

After the adults quit acting like children, we gave the kids a turn.  Cade and his buddy decided to try it out.  Here he is and his dancin’ moves.  I’d say he gets his rhythm from his Momma:)

Buggies, Piggies and Mud

A couple of weekends ago, we ALL loaded up and headed to the Hun-Tin House.  It was our family, Mom and Dad, Kiss, Jacob and their kids, Wimmy and Uncle Sammy, and Granny. 

We were a little bored on Saturday morning, so we decided to pull ALL of the buggies out and go for a ride.  They had set some traps to worm the hogs, so we went to check them out!

There were 4 buggies trailing along. 

One of the buggies broke down so we picked up some extra cargo!

The first trap was empty, but the second one had this:

 

That is one long snout!  It looks like an opossum pig!  The big one was easy to worm, but the little one was trouble.  The boys decided they would try to catch it so Papa could give it the wormer.

 

We left that trap and went to the last one.  There was a ditch that had wet mud, and smelled like pure boar hog urine.  My adventurous children wanted to get a closer look at the trap.

Right as I went to say, “Don’t…”, this is what Gracie did:

She cried, and Wimmy liketa had a heart attack laughing so hard!  I didn’t even get another word out, and she sunk down in the muck.  She stunk to high heaven. Luckily, our next stop was the river.

  As Papa was helping her wash her feet off, she sat down in the mud at the river bank.

Now, she not only had muddy shoes, but she had a muddy hiney too!

We rode on to the very back of the property, where Rob showed us a hidden treasure.  We have a beach!  There is a huge clay/sand area at the river, and the water is so clear.

The kids, and a couple of adults, immediately took off their shoes and went wading.  SaraGrace was able to get rinsed off, so she at least smelled a little better.  They found a baby soft-shell turtle, and lots of clams that had been eaten by a raccoon.

  

We can’t wait until our next trip!  We’ve already planned a picnic and a swim down by the river.

Boxing Gloves for SaraGrace

***DISCLAIMER:  In no way shape or form, do we promote violence in our house.  This is a post of SG being sassy and learning how to box on the video game. 

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, here is the post.

Santa brought Cade and SaraGrace a Wii for Christmas.  Their favorite game to play is boxing.  Cade is really good at it, and SG has picked it up pretty good. 

The other night, we had planned to fold and put away the 5,000 loads of laundry on our couch.  We got a little distracted when SG wanted to show us her moves.

I got it on video, and I have to say she may just be a little competitive.  I’m not really sure where she got that from (her Momma) but she takes it seriously.  It killed Cade the entire time because he is always boxing.  He likes to play SaraGrace because he can beat her.  To give her a chance, we let her play the computer.

Between Rob egging her on, and her COMPLETE UNWILLINGNESS to accept defeat, this is something to behold.

My favorite lines in the video are:

“You better don’t try me.” and “I am hard, and she is not!”

I think we may have a little fighter on our hands!!!

Can You Help?

The Lord has used this blog to bless me in so many ways.  I am so thankful for all He has done in and through my love of writing.  I would love to share that blessing with someone else.  A dear friend, Kelli, is raising money for the Chron’s & Colitis Foundation.  Her family knows first hand how these diseases affect those that we love.  I have posted her letter below.    This family has been through so much, yet they continue to stand so strongly in their faith.  Even in the midst of their own trials, they are so willing to help others in need.  Please pray about how you can help her and her husband raise awareness for this disease.  Most importantly, please lift them up in your prayers.

 

On May 5^th, 2012, we will be walking in Take Steps for Crohn’s & Colitis, the nation’s largest event dedicated to finding cures for digestive diseases. I hope you will join us as a member of Team Reustle! We have set a Team Goal of raising $2,000.00.

Our team, along with thousands of others across the country, will raise money for crucial research that wouldn’t even have been possible a few short years ago. Beyond raising money for research, Take Steps brings together the community in a fun and energetic atmosphere. Participants are encouraged to make noise and be heard -- raising awareness of these little-known diseases in their community and across the nation.

Trey has battled this disease for over 16 years. Today, he is fighting it harder than he ever has before. Please help us raise awareness and funds for research to find a cure!

This is an opportunity to do something good in the community and take a step toward a future free from Crohn’s and colitis. Start today, by:

• Joining our Take Steps team,
• Making a personal contribution to this worthwhile cause, and
• Raising funds for research, education and support.

You can register today by visiting www.cctakesteps.org, and following the prompts to register for the Jacksonville, Florida walk on Team REUSTLE. When you register, you will receive valuable fundraising tools and information from the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation, in addition to your own personal fundraising Web site.

If you are unable to participate but would like to support our efforts with a contribution, you can donate online at http://online.ccfa.org/goto/teamreustle or mail a check to PO Box 2996 High Springs, FL 32655. Please make checks payable to The Chron’s & Colitis Foundation of America (www.cctakesteps.org).

Together we’ll raise money for important research and raise awareness of two painful and unpredictable diseases that afflict millions of people. Thank you in advance for your support!

Sincerely,

The Reustle Family

Tales from the Trail

Rob and I have been wanting to take the kids to ride their bikes on a little nature trail down from our house.  Both kids got bikes for Christmas, and they love them.  But bless their little hearts, they only get to ride them at Papa and Gamma’s because we only have grass:(

Cade and SG were super excited when we loaded the bikes in the back of the truck.  It didn’t take us but about 5 minutes to get to the trail.

 

They got their helmets on and were ready to go.  After 30 seconds into the trail, we realized this was not a trail for training wheels.  I was having to push the princess along.  Daddy took her bike back to the truck and she hoofed it with me.

 

It was so pretty.  We hoped to see some wildlife, but what did we expect to see with these two crazies?

We did manage to see one little black snake.  They had enough wildlife after that!

They had such a great time.  It took us about an hour to walk/ride the trail.  We enjoyed the exercise and the time together. 

When we headed back to the truck, they wanted to ride their bikes around the parking lot.  This was a TRIP!

Here are their biking skills in real time:

Cade was such a good big brother!  Here he is on his bike:

When it was time to leave, they didn’t want to pack up.  Rob had to pick up Gracie on her bike to load her up!

 

Cade didn’t want to go either.  He tried to convince his Daddy to ride too.

We will definitely be looking for some bike trails to check out.  We had the best time!

We Have A Heartbeat

This morning was our first ultrasound with Baby # 4.  Thank goodness it was first thing this morning, because I had a nervous stomach, along with morning sickness and it made for a long wait.

Rob went with me to this appointment, and I’m so thankful for him.  This baby has brought a lot of excitement to our house, and today couldn’t have come soon enough.

I was so glad to see Dr. Duff again, as you know how special he is to us.  The floodgate of emotions was thrown wide open this morning, as I cried the entire time I was in his office.  I had feelings of nervousness, fear, sadness, and happiness.  I was just all over the place.  But it was hard to put away the emotions of what took place last time at this point in the pregnancy. 

As he started the ultrasound, he leaned over and said to me, “SaraBeth.  Take a deep breath.  This is going to be good.  I already see a baby and a heartbeat.”  Those words were music to my ears! 

(I know you can’t tell a whole lot by this picture, but Christina made me promise I would post it:)

He adjusted my due date to 11/24.  Since I’ll have a scheduled c-section, it will be a week sooner.  But HELLO!  Thanksgiving is the 22nd.  And I know those deer woods are gonna be calling our boys, so me and Dr. Duff are going to have to work that out.

I don’t know why I was so fearful this morning.  My faith was certainly not at its strongest.  God is always so faithful to me, even when I am not to Him.

Rob and I know we have to trust Jesus to take care of this baby, just as He did Faith, SaraGrace and Cade.  Even though Faith’s journey was different, it was the one our Heavenly Father chose for her.  He knows best.  We trusted Him completely with her, so we are going to do the same with this one.  If we can trust Him in the hard times, we can certainly trust Him in the happy ones.

Thank you to all of you for your prayers, your messages and your phone calls.  We are truly blessed to have such wonderful friends and family.

The Power of the Cross

As we reflect on the crucifixion of Jesus today, I am deeply grateful for the price He paid for me.  But the thing is, He didn’t just do it for me, He chose all of us to be the recipient of the gift of salvation and eternal life in Heaven with Him.

As Jesus walked in our shoes for a time, He suffered as we do, yet He didn’t deserve any of it.  Actually, He suffered far greater than anything we will ever have to face.  But He did it out of LOVE.  Love for each one of us.  He took our blame and bore the wrath that should’ve come upon us.

The power of the cross is the very power that saves us from the depths of Hell, in which we all deserve.  All we have to do is accept the gift He gave on the cross that day.

 

Spring Break

Spring Break is here.  The kids are enjoying getting to stay up later and sleep in a little these days.  The other night, they stayed up watching a movie in Cade’s room.  When we got up the next morning, this is what we found.

I’m hanging on to this one!  The next time they want to hate on each other, I’m going to show this to them and remind them how much they really love one another!

It stinks that both Rob and I have to work during Spring Break.  But we are both thankful to have a job.  I am especially thankful for a job I can bring my children if I need to.

Yesterday, Cade came to work with me, while SaraGrace has been staying at Mrs. Stacy’s.  Cade and I picked up Daddy for lunch and went to one of our favorite hamburger joints-Steak n Shake.

Cade was ready for his burger and shake.

 

Daddy was having a great time playing with Cade’s kids meal goodies.

 

I love getting to spend some time with my boys.  It makes my day!

Meet Lulabelle

No, we haven’t decided on a baby name yet, but we did get a new baby over the weekend.  We have babies EVERYWHERE!!!

Meet Lulabelle:

“Belle” came to live on our “farm” on Friday, when she was just 7 days old.  She lost her momma, so we have taken her to raise.  One of Dad’s employees had to load her up in the front seat of his pickup truck, and he dropped her off at our house.

I had to come home at lunch to feed her, and this is what I found on my front porch:

She is just the cutest thing!

Brinley came home with me to feed her and she had a blast.

We couldn’t wait for the kids to get home.  They had no idea, so they were so excited!

Cade exclaimed, “This is the best gift ever!”  He loves her, and he couldn’t wait to feed her.

That bottle is as big as he is:)

Lulabelle is the third name this poor calf has had.  We couldn’t decide, so since I am the “Calf Manager” I picked.  We call her Belle for short.  She has fit right in and we just love having her around.  She is a spunky little thing, and just too cute.  That is until she stands at my bedroom window in the mornings mooing her little heart out to let me know she is ready for some groceries!!!

Even ole’ Daddy enjoys taking care of her.

On Friday afternoon, Rob and Belle had a good time playing in the yard.  Rob would “moo” at her and she would moo back.  I caught some on video.  Please excuse the hideous voice in the background.  That would belong to me:(