Yesterday was more emotional than usual. I’m not sure what was different, but I really struggled. We made it to church, just in time for my favorite part….the singing. I love to sing praise and worship songs, and I just look forward to that every week.
We sang “I Have Decided to Follow Jesus”. I have heard this song a million times, and can sing it from memory. But it never hit me like it did yesterday.
I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus.
No turning back, no turning back.
It’s easy to decide to follow Jesus, but where it gets hard is the “no turning back.” I sat there yesterday, unable to sing through the tears because I thought back to November 15th, when Jesus revealed to us what He was calling us to do. That was the easy part. But truthfully, there are days when it is so unbearably hard, that I want to tell Him I want to turn around. It is too hard. I just can’t do it. As I sat thinking about that yesterday, His gentle spirit reminded me of something.
What if Jesus turned back? He knew what He was about to face. He even asked his Father to take the cup if he could. But He remained obedient, and aren’t we all so glad He did?
I have committed to following Jesus, and WILL NOT turn back. He has graciously carried us through these days and nights, and He won’t let go now. It is hard. It’s going to get harder. But He promised us this:
Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6
He’s started something in the life of Faith, and He will be faithful to complete it.
We do have a confirmed c-section date. Faith will be born Thursday, May 19th at 9:30 am. That is less that 6 weeks away!
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