Struggling

The last few days have been the hardest. I am struggling to find my footing on this new journey we call “our new normal.” I am back at work today, because I knew I couldn’t stay at home by myself. Both yesterday and today have been extremely emotional. It makes me absolutely sad to think about returning to life without Faith. I feel guilty in a lot of ways, but mostly just sad. The mommy in me feels like I should just sit and grieve. I just feel like we are pushing forward (which I know we have to), but I just don’t want to move on and act like she never existed. As I wrote in an email to a friend this morning, life as I’ve known it for the past nine months is now completely different. It’s just taking some adjusting to.

God has brought us through the last months, and I know He will continue to carry us through the next few as well. Amazingly, (because God’s timing is perfect), our devotions started in the book of Job last night. It was refreshing to read how someone who faced such loss, was able to still praise God and remain faithful to Him. That is our wish for our family. We will continue to cling to Him, and trust that He will get us through. We find ourselves again at a crossroads of “What next?” We have spent the last several months sharing the life of our precious daughter, and we intend to continue to do so. But we will have to wait and see what God has planned for us on in our “new normal.” I know He isn’t done with us, or our family, and I pray that He will continue to use our story to reach out to others, so that they may know the love of our Savior.

Thank you to everyone who has left such wonderful comments, sent sweet emails and cards, and for the phone calls. It has really been uplifting to us:) Please continue to pray for us as we struggle to seek what our new normal will be.