Rob and I have long debated the size of our family. He originally wanted 4 to 5 kids, that was until SaraGrace became so very independent, which changed his mind to two. For the longest time, I was ok with that. But then I got the baby fever, and could just see me with at least one more baby. But obviously, we do not really NEED any more children. Our two are a handful, and let’s be honest, it takes a village!!!
It also takes a money tree, and ours has withered and died. My hours have been cut, SG started school (an added monthly expense), we now drive separate because of my hours and afterschool (so more gas). Nothing has really pointed in the direction that we are ready for another child in the next 4 to 5 years. Nothing, except for God’s plan!
We are excited to announce that the Vaughn family will grow from 4 to 5 in May, 2011! Although we were surprised ( a great surprise!), He is not. He knew this child before it was formed in the womb. (Jeremiah 1:5)
I will have to be honest. I have been extremely worried. I suffered an ectopic pregnancy before SaraGrace, and for some reason could not shake the fact that something is going to happen this time. I have cried, lost sleep, and prayed and prayed and prayed, like 4 to 5 times an hour. Finally, I stopped worrying long enough to listen to what God had to say.
“SaraBeth, if you’re not trusting me, you’re trusting someone or something. Are you really going to trust Satan over me?”
That hit me like a ton of bricks. Now we don’t know what His plan is for this baby, but He does. He knows how this story ends. There is a song that plays on the JOYFM at least 4 to 5 times a day. I heard it for the first time as I left the lab from getting my preliminary blood work done.
NO MATTER WHAT
“I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to,
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you…
No matter what, I’m gonna love You,
no matter what I’m gonna need You,
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,
if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what. “
I decided then that this would be my song to get me through those days when Satan is trying to fill my heart with lies. I know that God is in control, and I trust Him completely with this child, as I have done with the others.
We were able to get an ultrasound Thursday, and I am happy to report that everything looked great, including a tiny heartbeat! God is so good!