The Last 48 Hours

We are now into the last 48 hours of my pregnancy. There are days that it seems like I have been pregnant forever, yet on the other hand, it’s hard to believe that in less than two days we are going to look into those sweet (probably blue if I had to bet) eyes for the first time. I am filled with so many emotions, yet I have a peace knowing that God has already orchestrated all of the details of Thursday.

I would like to thank everyone for the wonderful, encouraging comments, emails, cards and phone calls. If I haven’t responded yet, I promise I will. I just want you to know that it hasn’t gone unnoticed, and how much we appreciate the outpouring of love and support you have given our family. Thank you for walking this road with us and for uplifting us in prayer.

If you are newer to my blog, I would like to welcome you and thank you for coming along this journey with us. I hope that our family and the life of our daughter will be a light that shines the love of our Heavenly Father, as He has so graciously given us this opportunity to see Him at work.

There are many things I want to remember, so this will probably be a hodge podge of a post, but I want to make sure I don’t forget these details.

• Two weeks ago, Friday, Cade didn’t get his medicine. It was one of those mornings, and I felt so bad, because I didn’t want to set him up to have a bad day. But I just prayed for him, and his teachers. When I got to school, his teacher wanted to talk to me. I just knew he had a rough day. But she shared with me that he got the undivided attention of his class, and shared with them all about his baby sister. He asked them to pray for her, so they had a prayer time. I was so thankful to her for sharing that with me. When we got in the car, I asked him about it. He told me that he told his class that “Faith will probably die, so we need to pray for her. But I told them we needed to pray for you too, because you were having a rough time.” He then told me, “Mommy, I pray for her everyday.” And he does. I am so amazed to see how God is working in his little life. We do not know the impact this experience will have on him, but I know that God is doing a mighty work.

• My new doctor has been amazing! Dr. D is a blessing from above. I was extremely anxious about switching doctors and hospitals, but God is so faithful to provide what you need when you need it. Dr. D is so compassionate, kind, and very caring. He has made the change most pleasant. I am the biggest baby when it comes to pain, and he has been so accommodating. He has been very supportive of our decisions as a family, and has also been very instrumental in communicating with all of the doctors that will be on board Thursday. I am so thankful for all he has done for us!

• We went to see Soul Surfer Friday night. I had been looking forward to seeing it, and the kids were all too excited to see a shark bite somebody’s arm off. But I have to tell you, God’s timing is impeccable. As the movie started, Bethany is sitting in youth group, and they are talking about perspective. How when you are so close to a situation, it’s hard to see what is really in front of you. Her youth leader (Carrie Underwood) shared a verse with them, while telling them that when they can’t get perspective, or understand a situation, that they can trust God’s plans. The verse she shared was Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Rob just looked at me and said, “WOW!” As we watched this young teenager overcome such a trial in her life, it reminded me that the Lord always has us in the palm of His hand. We just have to let go, and let Him do His thing.

• I always look forward to Sunday mornings, as I love going to our church. But what I have come to love about our Sunday mornings, is feeling Faith jump around inside my belly, as we sing praise and worship songs. It’s such a reminder that we have so much to be thankful for. I think about the freedom we’ve been given, by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. That if He hadn’t suffered through that trial, eternity in heaven would not be a possibility. Romans 8:28 -“ And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

As Thursday draws closer, I feel like I am growing more and more weary. Yesterday was tough. It was my last doctor’s appointment. As I was driving to get the kids, I was listening to my Selah cd, and the song “Oh Draw Me Lord” came on. I just cried out to Jesus asking Him to draw us closer to Him during the next few days. I begged for Him to give us the strength and the courage for what lies before us. I asked Him to take the nerves from me, so that we will not lose focus on what He is going to do. And can I tell you, I had an immediate peace just come over me. He just whispered in my ear, “I’m right here. I haven’t gone anywhere.” I know the next days, even weeks will not be easy, but I do know that God will carry us through them. We have NO idea what will happen on Thursday, but He has promised that He does.

Someone (either Christina or Amy) will be updating our blog on Thursday. Please continue to pray for Faith, for our family, our children and the doctors and nurses that will be on board with us. God is going to do a mighty thing on Thursday, and as Cade reminded us, He will show His power. I am excited to see what He has in store. Thank you again for all of your love and prayers.

Sneak Peek

Rob and I had the privilege to have some maternity pictures taken a couple of weeks ago. These were gifted to us by Cotton Blossoms Studio, through Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. I will never have the words to say how grateful I am to Chontelle for this gift she has given our family. She did a marvelous job, and I can’t wait to see the rest. Here are the 4 she sent us this weekend.

I wouldn’t normally be so bold as to show my bare tummy to the world on the internet. Believe me, I am extremely insecure when it comes to my body. However, I have learned over the past 6 months to embrace my body and my baby, no matter what it looks like. These are so precious to me and my family!

If you are looking for a local photographer in our area, Chontelle is AMAZING! And she is so giving to participate in such a wonderful organization such as NILMDTS.

Birthdays and Bible Verses

This last weekend, we went to Jackson’s Pirate Party, complete with lots of water activities. The kids had a blast!

Julie sent me these pictures, and I’m so glad she did. I am determined to save enough money to buy my own camera, but it just can’t come fast enough!

Sibling love….a rare picture.

Cade wanted to jump on the trampoline, and play in the fort instead of swimming.

But not this little redhead. She was all about the water.

I love this picture of Cade.

SaraGrace and her “wallowmelon.”

Speaking of “wallowmelon”, SG is going to be in the Watermelon Festival pageant this Saturday. I have to say I wasn’t thrilled about the timing of this princess contest, but once she found out that Brinley was doing it, she couldn’t be left out. But I will admit, she has been practicing on her own and doing her own thing, and it’s mighty cute. It may not be too reflective of a seasoned pageant queen, but then it wouldn’t be her if it was:)

On another note, Rob gets a daily Bible verse in his email, and sometimes he forwards them to me. I have to preface this by saying that we now have exactly one week until Faith is born. It has been a hard few days, and last night while I was praying, I asked God to help me cling tighter to Him, and to not let the fear overtake the peace that has been so amazing the last six months. I have had some anxiety, and I don’t want that to overshadow what God has in store. As I prayed, I just asked Him to help me see that He is still in control. So this morning, my hubby sends me this verse that he received in his email….

As you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the body is formed in a mother's womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God,
the Maker of all things. Ecclesiates 11:5

These words just encouraged me to know that there is no way we can understand all that God is working on. Of course we have questions, and we want to understand why things happen the way they do, but this verse tells us that it not for us to understand, but to trust in Him that He knows what He is doing.

Dear Jesus,

Help us to cling to you and your word as we find our way the next few days. Thank you for your promises, and for your mercy and grace, though we don’t deserve one minute of it. Help us to look to you for guidance, and not be swayed by the ways of the world. As your word tells us that we cannot understand the work of God, help us to trust completely in you, regardless if we understand or not.

Amen.

Dr. Appointment

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and it was certainly a good one. To start things off, I have lost 1/2 pound. I can certainly live with that!!!

They did an ultrasound to check on Faith, and see what she is up to. She has gotten soooooo BIG! We watched as she opened and closed her little mouth, and it was just so sweet. They were also able to watch her do some practice breathing, which is something they didn’t know she would be able to do.

Dr. D showed us all of the little pieces of vernix floating around, and told us that was a good indication that her lungs were fully developed. Now I don’t think they can tell anything about the compressed lung on an ultrasound, so that is something we will have to wait and see about.

She is measuring right on target, and is scheduled to make her debut next Thursday. NEXT THURSDAY! I can’t believe it will only be 10 days until we meet her. I have to say that I have so many mixed emotions ranging from excitement, to anxiety, to sadness. The only thing we know about that day, is that God is in total complete control. Which is a good thing, because only He knows what tomorrow holds.

Today was the last ultrasound we will have, which means it is the last time we will see her before the 19th. It’s a little bittersweet, as we have enjoyed getting to see her totally oblivious to all that is wrong, and all she may face. She just seems so happy, and moves around so much. I think she really enjoys being the center of attention! I’m not really sure where she gets that from:)

As the day gets closer, the days get harder. I am finding that I don’t have it as together as I think. But, I am learning to accept that it is ok to have those days. But I just keep clinging to the verse:

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This verse offers so much hope. Hope in the fact that His plans are to prosper us, not harm us. Plans to give us hope and a future. Though we are not guaranteed that those plans include a hope and a future here on earth, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we have a hope and a future in eternity because of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross that day. I am so thankful to serve a God that promises that today is only a snapshot of the bigger plan He has for us. Though it seems like forever, this earth is only temporary. We know that if God sees fit to take Faith to Heaven, we will one day see her again, and never have to let her go. There is no greater hope than that!

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day has always been a special day to honor our mothers and grandmothers. We have always made a big deal of it in our family. The big Sunday lunch, the cards, the gifts, but most importantly, the time we would spend together.

I couldn’t wait to become a mother, and get to stand up in church when they ask all of the mothers to stand. I remember my very first one. I was about 8 weeks from having Cade, and couldn’t imagine how precious being a mother was really going to be.

I would have to say that the gift of motherhood is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has blessed me with. I never imagined I could love someone so deeply as I love my children. I remember when I was pregnant with SaraGrace, I was so worried that my heart just couldn’t love anyone like it loved Cade. But you know, my heart made room for her, just like it did Cade.

As I think about Mother’s Day this year, it means so much more. It’s not about celebrating me, but about celebrating the gifts that God has given me in my children. This may be the only Mother’s Day that I am a mother to 3 children here on earth, but it’s the most precious, as I look at how my perception of motherhood has changed over the last year. It was something I took for granted. I cherish the tender moments I spend with each of my children, even the craziest of days, when I feel like I am at my limit. I have learned to stop and take the time to thank the Lord for the gift of getting to experience those days.

We have gotten to witness our children praying diligently for their sister on a daily basis. We have witnessed Cade giving us profound messages that he has learned through our situation the last few months. All of these are lessons that we, as parents, could not have taught them ourselves. As a mother, it is so sweet and tender to see them grasping what God is doing in their lives, and our lives as a family. Nothing will ever replace these memories that we are making together.

So much of our days have been focused on the possibility that we may not get to experience things with Faith that we have our other children. But the Lord has made it ever so clear that we are not guaranteed tomorrow with the children we have here on earth either. When you stop and think about that, it makes you see a bigger picture.

I have been blessed with the most wonderful mother and grandmothers that a girl could ever ask for. I have also been blessed by the most wonderful children. So this Mother’s Day, instead of focusing on what might not be, I am going to focus on all that has been given to us, including the most precious 9 months we have had with Faith.

Hug your mothers, your grandmothers, and your children extra tight this Mother’s Day, and take the time to say a prayer of thanks to our Heavenly Father for all of His wonderful blessings.

A Day In The Life…

My work day is not usually very exciting.  And I have to say that I do get bored pretty regularly.  However, today was totally different.

We have been working on a mine reclamation, and the site is pretty extensive (like several hundred acres).  I found out this morning early, that I may have to go walk it with the governing body for the final inspection.  What?!?!?!  Hello!  I am huge pregnant, can’t walk long distances and my feet are way too fat to fit into anything other than flip flops.  But, I came prepared. 

I had my umbrella, I brought a pair of shorts (it has been stifling HOT lately!), and even found a spare pair of tennis shoes in the back of my car (all the more reason to never clean it out:))  My dad was a little worried and told me not to get too hot.  I told him I brought some shorts, and then the comment was made by another employee that shorts didn’t seem very professional.  My comeback?

“And you think it’s professional to have a 9 month pregnant woman tromping several hundred acres of land?”  That got a few laughs. 

Just so you know, the several people in attendance were spared from the sight of my ghostly, chunky pregnant legs, because the Lord saw fit to give us some cooler weather.  I know they will sleep a lot better tonight.

So here was my office today…

 

This was one of the 4 ponds on the property.  Luckily, our superintendent was able to drive us around instead of walking all of that way.  And the weather was MARVELOUS!  It was cool and breezy, much nicer than any office.

We had to walk around and figure out why our grass isn’t growing. 

Do you think all of that rocky soil has something to do with it?  Or maybe the fact it is dry as a bone outside?

Needless to say, today was a fun day away from the office, getting to go onsite and enjoy beautiful scenery and the gorgeous weather.

It was good for the soul! 

On another note, I forgot to take pictures again, but today was mismatch day at school.  I think we should have that every day, because it was so easy to dress my children today.  Now if they would just combine crazy hair and mismatch day, now that would be a charm!

This Week…

This week is full of all kinds of going-ons.  We started on Sunday, with some of my dear friends hosting a celebration honoring Baby Faith.  I cannot wait to share it with you.  I just have to get copies of the pictures.  It was a very sweet afternoon, that was such a blessing.

Yesterday was Western Wear day at the kids school.  I didn’t think to take pictures until after I picked them up, and Cade had already undressed the cowboy.  Here is SG’s getup…

Today was Crazy Hair day, and SG didn’t want any crazy hair.  Funny thing is, Cade told her it was already crazy, she didn’t have to do anything to it.  He went with a double mohawk, but because I am mother of the year, I didn’t think to take pictures.   Maybe I can get one this afternoon.

Yesterday, when we got home, SG wanted to paint my nails.  Here is a photo of her lovely work…

Thursday, we go as a family to have maternity pictures taken.  I am so excited about this.  Cotton Blossoms  is the local photographer that participates with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.  She does amazing work, and I will be forever indebted to her for giving us this amazing gift!  She will also be on hand the day Faith is born to take pictures as well.  Now I just need to come up with some wardrobe:)

We will be meeting with our pastor this week to finalize details of the memorial service for Faith, in the event we need one.  Of course we are still hoping that is “Plan B”, but I would like to have it ready in case.  Please pray for us that we will have clear direction from God as to what He would have us do.

I don’t go to the doctor again until next Monday.  So no news on the baby front as of now. 

Update on the bluebirds:  When we got home yesterday, something, or someone (mail lady?) had knocked our nest out of our box.  All of the eggs were cracked open on the ground.  Cade and SG were on a mission to find out who could do such a thing.

I’m so sorry I have been blog slacking lately.  I am feeling like I am starting to get the junk everyone else has had, so I am praying I can stay well. 

Hope you all have a happy Tuesday!