Thursday, August 4, 2011

People Pleaser

I come from a long line of “people pleasers”. Some may call themselves a “peace maker” but at the end of the day, the aim is to please people.

All of my life I have wanted to make everyone proud. I’ve never wanted to let anyone down, or not live up to their expectations. I wanted to be strong, to prove to everyone I was capable. This was apparent when I learned how to castrate cows in high school. My boyfriend at the time told me I probably couldn’t do it, so I had to prove him wrong:) He never said those words to me again.

In my adult life, I find myself still trying to please people. The unfortunate thing is that no matter how hard I try, everyone is not always going to be happy all the time. Therefore, I walk away most of the time feeling defeated.

Last week was the icing on the cake for my realization of this fault of mine. I will honestly admit (which is very hard for me to do) it was the hardest week I have had yet. Which is surprising to me. I was missing my daughter terribly, feeling like I was starting the grieving process all over again. On top of that, things were crazy at work, it was SaraGrace’s birthday, I was preparing for VBS, and in the midst of all of those things, I was feeling like I wasn’t living up to expectations of others in any area of my life.

I cried every day, all day long. I was very short-tempered and feeling overwhelmed. For those around me, it was hard for them to see me act this way. My explanation was simply that I am tired of every one expecting me to keep it together all of the time. It seems as though I was the strong one in the days leading up to Faith’s birthday, but for today, I just can’t be that. But then I was reminded that no one expected that out of me. I put those expectations on myself, as to not let anyone down. It’s the “people pleaser” in me.

When I finally got so overwhelmed I couldn’t take it anymore, I cried out (more like sobbed) to God asking him why I had to be this way. But then He placed this conviction on my heart….

Exodus 20:3 – Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

I didn’t have to think twice about that one. I knew exactly what He meant. I had been so caught up in what everyone else wanted me to be, I didn’t have the time to worry about what God wants me to be. He doesn’t expect perfection, because He knows we are not perfect. But He does expect obedience, something I haven’t had the will to give Him lately. What would happen if I put the same effort of pleasing Him that I put forth in pleasing others? Now that would be AMAZING!!!

I prayed and asked Him to forgive me for placing His expectations on the back burner. I asked Him to help me get over this hump, and to look to Him for my hope and strength, not what other people think of me. I know that when I stand before Him in Heaven one day, He will not care that I lost sleep over pleasing the people in my life. What He is going to care about is what I did that was pleasing to Him.

What other gods do you have in your life? Are you placing them before Him? Don’t be a “people pleaser”. You’re ultimately going to fail. Instead, I encourage you to live your life to be pleasing to Him.


simpletruelove said...

Have I told you lately how PROUD I am of YOU ... we both tend to be people pleasers BUT just like I told you YOU have to be happy cause if you are pleasing everyone else and you aren't happy then your life will be miserable AND just like I told you WE are people pleasers and we put a lot of those expectations on ourselves just like we EXPECT a lot of our own expectations from others and then we are VERY disappointed when "they let us down" when in actuality it's our own expectations that have let us down. You have a kind, generous and loving heart and I am so thankful and blessed to have YOU in my life!! I love your honesty and sincerity!! I think you are a extraordinary child of God!! Love Love Love YOU!!

Christina said...

From one "people pleaser" to another...thank you for these wise words and the reminder of the ONLY one worth pleasing!