Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Struggling

The last few days have been the hardest. I am struggling to find my footing on this new journey we call “our new normal.” I am back at work today, because I knew I couldn’t stay at home by myself. Both yesterday and today have been extremely emotional. It makes me absolutely sad to think about returning to life without Faith. I feel guilty in a lot of ways, but mostly just sad. The mommy in me feels like I should just sit and grieve. I just feel like we are pushing forward (which I know we have to), but I just don’t want to move on and act like she never existed. As I wrote in an email to a friend this morning, life as I’ve known it for the past nine months is now completely different. It’s just taking some adjusting to.

God has brought us through the last months, and I know He will continue to carry us through the next few as well. Amazingly, (because God’s timing is perfect), our devotions started in the book of Job last night. It was refreshing to read how someone who faced such loss, was able to still praise God and remain faithful to Him. That is our wish for our family. We will continue to cling to Him, and trust that He will get us through. We find ourselves again at a crossroads of “What next?” We have spent the last several months sharing the life of our precious daughter, and we intend to continue to do so. But we will have to wait and see what God has planned for us on in our “new normal.” I know He isn’t done with us, or our family, and I pray that He will continue to use our story to reach out to others, so that they may know the love of our Savior.

Thank you to everyone who has left such wonderful comments, sent sweet emails and cards, and for the phone calls. It has really been uplifting to us:) Please continue to pray for us as we struggle to seek what our new normal will be.

4 comments:

From the Bumpy Road said...

SaraBeth, my heart just hurts so much for you right now. I don't know if this will help, but I felt led to share this verse with you. You remain close in prayer.

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Psalm 27:13-14

Grandma~rella said...

Prayers, love and (((HUGS)))

Mrs4444 said...

I'm very glad you have your faith to get you through this. My condolences...

visiting via His,Hers and Ours, btw...

mumstheword said...

I wish so badly I could take the pain away … so since I can’t I will be right there beside you to endure all the pain and struggles with you!! Have I told you lately how proud I am of YOU … I am proud to call you my BEST FRIEND, I am proud to call you my SISTER, I am proud of the wife you are, I am proud of the mother you are to your beautiful children, I am proud of the daughter you are and most importantly I am proud of the Christian you are!! Although this journey has been hard and the days, weeks and months ahead will have heartaches and struggles too – I see Christ living in you EVERY DAY (even the weary days) and I know that you will continue to strengthen and rise up in Christ and not let Satan bring you down! Love you so much Bess!!