The title is original, I know. But, I didn’t know what else to call this post.
As you can probably imagine, this road we are travelling is filled with a lot of questions. We have never done this before, nor did we ever imagine that we would. There is no one who can give us answers, except the Good Lord up above. And you know what, His answers aren’t always immediate. It would be nice if they were, but sometimes we just have to wait.
We have been asked some tough questions lately, and frankly, I haven’t known how to answer them. I have lost some sleep over it, because I wanted to make sure that in our efforts to be obedient to God, that we NEVER place doubts with anyone of the power of our Lord.
One of the things we have been struggling with is about praying for a miracle, and believing that God is going to perform it. There is a difference between believing God CAN perform a miracle, and knowing that He is GOING TO DO IT.
As a parent, obviously our heart’s desire is to bring home a perfectly happy, healthy baby girl, who will aggravate SaraGrace in the way she has aggravated her brother. I would love to be able to look forward (or dread) the sleepless nights, bringing her to work with me everyday, trying to make up with her what I have lacked with the others.
But one thing we desire ABOVE ALL…..above our heart’s desires, above our need to rescue our baby, above the gut feeling that the world needs to see a miracle, above the fact that so many people are praying for our sweet daughter….we desire to trust God with everything we have, that His will is perfect, and that HE will get the glory in all of the details of May 19th. That can be very scary. His will may not be the same as ours, and we will not know that until that day, even if then. But we want to be obedient to what He has called us to do, and that is TRUST Him. We do not doubt for a second that He can heal our baby girl, and make her whole. We KNOW that He can. We have seen Him do so much already. But what we don’t know, is what HE desires in the life of Faith.
As I struggled with this, we prayed, and even sought counsel from a very dear pastor friend. He reminded us of Jesus’ prayer in the garden, before He was arrested.
Luke 22: 39-44
39 Coming out, He went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed, and His disciples also followed Him. 40 When He came to the place, He said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.”
41 And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, 42 saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” 43 Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. 44 And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
Jesus even asked his Father to take the cup from him, if it was his will. But then He said, “Nevertheless, not My will but yours, be done.” We have prayed this prayer, time and time again. If it be His will, that this cup shall pass from us and our family, we plead that it be done. But, regardless, His will, not ours. I do not want anyone to doubt, for even a second, that our God is ABLE. He is able to above and beyond, all that we ask. (Eph. 3:20.)
Friday night, as we were driving home, Rob and I were discussing these verses, and our conversation with our friend. Then from the back seat, it’s as if God intervened, and gave us confirmation that He was in control. Cade piped up and said, “Mommy, God is using Faith dying, to show people how powerful He is. And even if she doesn’t die, everyone will still see how powerful He is. He has picked our family to show His power.”
As tough as these days can be, it is moments like these that make me cherish my Savior even more. All that He is doing in the lives of our young children is such a blessing. And to see such confidence in Jesus, as Cade showed on Friday, it challenges us even more to be confident that we can trust in His plans, regardless of what that may look like for us.