Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Devil and Defeat

It was never a dream of mine to be an author.  It was not in my plans for my life.  Once Faith came along, the Lord immediately started working on my heart to write a book.  I tried with everything in me to avoid this calling that He had laid on me.  But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get away from it. 

It seemed like such an overwhelming process.  I am extremely fearful of rejection.  But the rejection of my child and her story just seemed too hard to bear.  I met with a well-known author who was very honest in telling me that this business was a hard one.  He said it was very hard to get published, and to be prepared for rejection.  I told myself that was just God closing the door on the book.  I just used the excuse that getting it published was going to be impossible.

Several weeks later, I went to a revival.  The evangelist was also a published author.  I knew that it was no coincidence that this man had written several books, and I had five days to meet with him and ask questions.  I prayed about it and God lead me to meet with him.  He was a wealth of information, even giving me some contacts in the industry.  But it still seemed so overwhelming.

While calling on those contacts, I ran across a self-publishing agency and the doors began to fly open.  I couldn’t believe how everything fell into place so quickly.  But there was one problem….I couldn’t use the publishing excuse anymore.  I even had a second company on hand, but decided against them once I learned I would have to sell them the rights to our story.

And so the writing began.  I thought because the publishing end of it turned out to be pretty easy, the writing should flow pretty smoothly.  Seeing that I had blogged nearly every breath I had taken over the last year, it would just come together.  NOT!!!

Satan is doing everything he can to make me feel defeated.  From feelings of “I cannot do this,” to “Your story is no different from anyone else’s.”  Then, last night, I finally got some motivation to sit and write.  I am borrowing my sister’s dinosaur of a laptop to write.  It will not hold a charge, but will work as long as it is plugged in.  After an hour and a half of serious writing, it died.  The charger got overheated.  I was so frustrated and felt, yet again, defeated.  Ironically (we know it is the Holy Spirit and His awesome timing)  Rob is reading a new book by C.S. Lewis, which is a story about two demons and how they do everything they can to defeat God’s people.  I know, that I know, that I know God wants me to write this book…for now.  All of the doors have been open, so I am going in the right direction.

I share this to tell you that when you feel everything is against you, seek the face of God.  Be obedient to what He has called you to do, and though you may feel defeated, He WILL NOT be defeated.  Be encouraged my sweet friends!!!

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